"...is harder with a baby on oxygen."

From Zuperfliegen 2011

Australia has a very, very good community health program - at least for new babies and their mothers. The great staff at the Mater's Mother's Hospital set me up with them when they discharged Zupe and a nurse came by for a home visit about 2 weeks after we got home. She gave Zupe a physical: weighed and measured him. Then, she set us up with an infant feeding day long session and a weekly mother's group.

Well, she didn't immediately set us up with the latter. In fact, she wasn't sure "which group" would be best for us because "babies with oxygen tend to monopolize the conversation".

Now, that probably doesn't strike you as funny since you are convinced I DO monopolize our conversations. This, however, is all your doing. You COULD press that comment button and have your say. I'd be thrilled, in fact, to know I wasn't talking to myself. I do that all day long - usually in my head, but recently more times out loud telling myself I am "talking to Zupe." In reality I have NEVER been accused of monopolizing any conversation. I'm much more likely to be criticized for failing to participate in said conversation.

Still, it did provide a chuckle to Kevin and me. And, it was Kevin who noted that I could just end any sentence with "...harder with a baby on oxygen." He thinks it is almost as amusing as ending fortune cookie fortunes with "in bed".

So, I've been - let me start again - WE'VE been to two meetings. I DID mention my son was on oxygen - twice: first when I introduced him (I thought that people might be interested/concerned/curious as to why we carry an oxygen cylinder and decorate his cheeks with tape.) and secondly when we were asked to comment on how the experience of giving birth/being a mother differed from our expectations. (In hindsight I could have said more: I didn't expect to need an induction. (I did expect to go beyond 40 weeks...) I didn't expect that after the induction I would need a c-section. I didn't expect my son would hardly eat for almost 5 days, would sleep almost all the time, would spend 3 weeks in the hospital, would need 24 hour oxygen support...) Given the nurse's comment I may have been less willing to discuss the oxygen, in fact.

One of the major concerns with mothers is settling their crying baby. Why does she cry? Why won't he stop? Help!! I made the very foolish (in retrospect) statement that Zupe is very easy. He doesn't cry except when he's hungry. He eats and then he goes to sleep. On his own. No fuss. Just put him in his bed and he "self settles."  Foolish because we've yet to spend an entire visit there (about 2 hours) without him screaming for AT LEAST 45 minutes of that time. I hold him. I talk with him. I bounce him. I put him in his stroller. I pick him up.... The scream continues. He isn't hungry. He JUST ATE minutes ago. I think he's picked up his dad's respect for irony. (The strongest force in the universe.)

Damn them both.